Highlands Blog

On the Needs of Women

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Posted in Highlands Blog under Marriage, Relationships, Women tagged in: ,

Two women together.


Ladies need the unique encouragement that can only be sourced from other women. This is an essential facet of feminine life that is above and beyond, but in addition to, the love that the husband provides.

As the apostle Paul writes to the young pastor, Timothy, he says to let “the older women . . . admonish the young women.” This informs me that as a husband, father, brother, friend, pastor, I cannot fulfill a certain part of any woman’s life; not even that of my own wife. There is a gender dynamic at play here that can only be filled by another woman. To think otherwise is against the design of our Maker.

Overall, gentlemen, we are clueless when it comes to this feminine dynamic. When we fail to understand this basic need we usually don’t facilitate or encourage and sometimes even disapprove this intersection of femininity. This clues us in to why we all live with less than we could have or be. Since this is a Creation essential designed to better equip the woman in our life to better fulfill their role as wife, mother, homemaker, we are essentially shortchanging the better life that we and the rest of our family could have and were intended to have.

Gents, we must remember that women are in some ways a whole different being than we are. Don’t try and understand everything. Years ago I purchased a book titled, The Mystery of Womanhood, and even though it was written by a woman who used the English language and not a lot of big words . . . I still didn’t know what was going on.

But God knew that I, a guy, wouldn’t or couldn’t figure this all out. When the Lord gave me a helpmeet He also gave her support for her role through others of her gender. Isn’t that fantastic?

Now, of course, not just any woman will do. Busybodies and the embittered soul should be avoided. No, the role here is for a righteous Mrs. to help her friend to realize all that they do for husband, home, and children, is to be done as serving the Lord. This can include, but is not limited to, love when they are tired, patience when they are hormonal, kindness when they are frustrated, and gratitude to offset temptation. They need a feminine voice that assures them that they are where they are called to be and will teach by word and example how to love the Prince Charming in their life that sometimes acts like an ogre.

And Ladies,

Given the opportunity, might I suggest some of the following types of friends/counselors?

Seek out a woman who is on her way to being like Mary, “the handmaid of the Lord,” a servant of God willing to love God even though He has given them an embarrassing personal history. Look for Mary. In her day she was probably avoided by most of her peers.

Try to find a friend like Ruth. Who when Naomi goes off against God for taking her husband and sons, she waits for her mother-in-law to wind down and then she speaks those awesome words of fidelity and oneness. Ruth was a patient listener and an encouraging speaker.

Perhaps there is a person like Abigail in your church or community. Yeah, sure, she married the wrong guy but that doesn’t disqualify her from having insight. Heck, she just might have more wisdom to offer because of her situation.

We all know that Esther knew how to set a table but she also knew how to fast, to submit to authority and to ask for other’s aid. She was someone wiser beyond her years.

Priscilla, that wife who serves alongside her husband, she will gladly make some time for you.

And find Anna, the advanced in years—years of serving the Lord. Meet with her soon for she is waiting for you and her time is short but I’m guessing that her words will stay with you the rest of your life.

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