Fellows Articles

Hide the Kids, the Pastor is Here — Family Hypocrisy

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Hypocrisy in the Family If you are reading this article, there is a very good possibility you have a family. And, there is a very good possibility you go to a church. Both of these institutions, the family and the church, are listed in the title. Given that, I want to ask you to honestly consider a couple of questions. Why do you take your family to church? What is your motivation? Is there something that you desire to see the church do for your family, specifically your children? And, if so, how do you expect that to happen? As. . . Read more »

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How to Turn Your Heart Toward Your Children

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New Covenant Promise The fourth chapter of Malachi is a chapter of special promise in a prophetic book that usually only gets referenced during budget time or in the midst of capital stewardship campaigns (using chapter 2 as its text). Chapter 4 primarily sets the stage for the coming of John the Baptist as the herald for the coming of King Jesus. However, it also holds a special promise for families in the new covenant. Malachi promises that: Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he will turn the. . . Read more »

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Teaching Your Children About Total Depravity

Teaching Your Children About Total Depravity

Dinner Table Doctrine I recently taught my children the meaning of total depravity. We started with the first word: total. Sitting around the dinner table I explained the biblical truth that there is nothing good in us. Not even a speck. Until God gives us a new heart, our hearts (and toes, and elbows, and eyelashes, etc) are completely bad. There is no innocence, no righteousness, nothing within us as fallen creatures that is pleasing to God. I think that they got it. And I really mean that, about their understanding what Daddy was teaching, but I also know that. . . Read more »

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You Can Live Set Apart & as Salt and Light

Living Set Apart as Salt and Light

Tension in the Christian Life The people of God are known in this day as the church. The church is understood properly by several analogies or descriptions in Scripture — the body of Christ, the ekklesia, the elect of God, the chosen lady, the bride of Christ, and so on. All of these have commonality while describing different facets of our relationship to God as His people, and our relationships with each other. How to Be “Set Apart” One interesting way of describing this relationship is the commonwealth of God. This is a covenantal term, describing a bonding together for. . . Read more »

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The Lord’s Supper — Feast for Sinners

The Lord's Supper — Feast for Sinners

Sundays are for Sinners I love Sundays. My children love Sundays. In fact, they love them so much I’m sure they learned the days of the week so they could know when the next Sunday was coming. “What day is it daddy,” they’d ask. “What day comes next.” Then they would keep asking until they knew just how many days there were until Sunday. I might be stretching it a bit, but they may have learned to count for the same reason. Each week our anticipation rises as we make ready our home for the covenant families who will share. . . Read more »

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Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth

Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth

Rightly Dividing or Wrongly Fighting? Some things are worth arguing about. You should fight for the truth. You should defend the faith. In a world gone mad, where lies, heresies, and worldliness surround us on every side, you do not have to look far to find a foe. So much is wrong with the church and the world, the feisty warrior has much to keep him busy. Some people, however, just like to argue, and they will argue about nothing and everything. They criticize people for what they say and for what they do not say. They pick specks out. . . Read more »

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I Did Not Come to Bring Peace but a Sword

I did not come to bring peace but a sword.—Jesus

Jesus Talked About Family Conflict We are a people at war. This war is not always fought out in the marketplace, in the broader culture, or in the church. It is often fought in the confines of the family. Jesus, in one of the most uncomfortable of all His uncomfortable sayings, tells the disciples this in Matthew 10:34-39: Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her. . . Read more »

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If Your Theology Doesn’t Transform Your Living You’re Doing it Wrong

If Your Theology Doesn't Transform Your Living You're Doing it Wrong

We are Forgetful of God’s Word There is a subtlety regarding our interaction with the Scriptures that causes our lives as Christians to be less than they could and ought to be. The apostle James spells this out in no uncertain terms by stating; “Looking at the Scriptures and going your way” is never going to do to and for us what, “looking at the Scriptures as you go” will do. (Read that last sentence again, slower, it’ll make sense.) The difference here is focus. And the focus initiates a transformation. The man who glances at the Word and goes. . . Read more »

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Fighting Worldliness as a Family

Fighting Worldliness as a Family

Worldliness in Christian Children Generally speaking, we parents desire the best for our children and would protect them from what harms them or that which is contrary to what we believe to be right and good. So what is going on in the American Evangelical church where — if statistics tell us the truth — so many of our children abandon the faith? According to reports, between 70-90% of Christian students abandon the faith after their second year of college. What these reports often don’t address is why this is occurring. Many Christian families begin training their children in the. . . Read more »

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Parenting with Perseverence

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Parenting & Sanctification We have just begun preaching from the book of James. In preparing a sermon for the last part of chapter one, verse twenty-five jumped out at me: “But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.” In particular, I was impacted by the clause, “and continues in it.” While the applications of this verse are manifold with regard to our sanctification, I was struck by its application to us as parents.. . . Read more »

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Relativism — America’s Idol

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Relativism in Narnia In C.S. Lewis’ The Last Battle, an ape named Shift tried to convince the free animals of Narnia to embrace Calormene culture and serve their king, the Tisroc. Pretending to be Aslan’s prophet, the Ape told the animals that Aslan had sold them into the service of the Tisroc in order to bring all the “benefits” of Calormene culture to the backward land of Narnia. “Please,” said the Lamb, “I can’t understand. What have we to do with the Calormenes? We belong to Aslan. They belong to Tash. They say Tash has four arms and the head. . . Read more »

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Weapons of Spiritual Warfare

Weapons of Spiritual Warfare

Words of Spiritual Warfare The first question in the Bible came from the devil. Within that question, everything that God had said about mankind and the world was put into doubt. Here was a new voice speaking backwards regarding all that had been thus far spoken forth. And this was the cause of man’s fall. Thorns and thistles burst forth, but also all of the myriad levels of death: leanness of soul, frenetic activity, discontent, bitterness, arrogance, and so on. Adam and Eve enjoyed innocence, intimacy, perpetual youth, fulfillment, and fellowship with God to name a few. They were given. . . Read more »

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How Not to Gossip

How Not to Gossip

Gossip Starts Here It all started with a comment from a friend: “The pastor seems a bit too friendly with Miss Rogers, doesn’t he? Did you see the way he looks at her?” “Not exactly,” I responded. “Well, it does not look healthy to me,” he said. We parted ways, and I began to watch. I did not see much, but the pastor was smiling a lot while they talked. Maybe there was something to this. This is where my evil began. “An evildoer gives heed to false lips; A liar listens eagerly to a spiteful tongue” (Proverbs 17:4). I. . . Read more »

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The Kingdom of God & Brownies

The Kingdom of God & Brownies

Kingdom of God Takes Hold It all starts with worship — potent worship. Like a kung-fu ballet or fudge brownies with just enough brownie mix to hold all those pecans together. Let’s face it, if you don’t have something that is worthy of passion then you ain’t got much at all. But once it takes hold, you see life radically differently. There is eternity in every moment. Those words spoken, that opportunity that presents itself, that child, that job, that illness; they all become what they were not before, because you were not who you were before. The world has. . . Read more »

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How to Repent

How to Repent: A Story Guide

A Story Guide for How to Repent When R.C. asked me to write on this topic, I wasn’t sure whether or not to be pleased. You see, when I am given an assignment, I immediately try and evaluate whether I know very much about the topic. I guess I should be pleased. I am quite experienced on the topic of repentance, having had to do a lot of it in my life. However, doing a lot of it and enjoying it are two very different things hence my corresponding displeasure. I only see one semi-honorable way out. Take the “third. . . Read more »

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Contentment in All Circumstances

Contentment in All Circumstances

Learning Contentment Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content; I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:11-13 Paul’s Example of Contentment It is commonly understood and agreed upon that the main theme of Paul’s letter to the saints in Phillippi is that of joy in the Christian life.. . . Read more »

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Join the Great Cloud of Witnesses & Run

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Great Cloud of Witnesses “Timothy, a deacon of Mauritania, and Maura his wife, had not been united together by the bands of wedlock above three weeks, when they were separated from each other by the persecution. Timothy, being apprehended, as a Christian, was carried before Arrianus, the governor of Thebais, who, knowing that he had the keeping of the Holy Scriptures, commanded him to deliver them up to be burnt…[which he refused to do]. The governor being much incensed at this reply, ordered his eyes to be put out, with red-hot irons, saying, ‘The books shall at least be useless. . . Read more »

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Living in Community

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Living in Community is Hard Work A wise man once said to me that “living in community is hard work.” Longsuffering, humility, repentance and forgiveness are easy when they remain as rhetoric or ideologies. In practice, they stretch us beyond our own strength. But if we truly love one another then we don’t have to work so hard at it. Sins are covered, bones are broken by soft words, feelings aren’t lying around for neighbors to trip on, and everyone is committed to speak the truth in love knowing the vital connection of the two. We are, after all, the. . . Read more »

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Building the Kingdom of God is a Family Mission

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Build the Kingdom of God in Your Family During times of war a wise commander deploys his soldiers according to a strategic plan. Missions are carefully planned and then manned with well-equipped warriors so that objectives are achieved, positions are held, and enemy territory is taken. And so it is with the Lord of Hosts, the One who commands the armies of Heaven. Our God has an eternal plan for dominion, one that is moving forward one heart, one household, one community at a time. The reality of the Kingdom of God and our part in it is something that. . . Read more »

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What to Wear to Church

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We Don’t Know What to Wear to Church Anymore To everything there is a season and a time . . . and yes, there is a time to dress up. The need to suggest such a thing is an indictment on our casual-minded, downgraded, culture. But when people now wear their pajamas to the mall and think little of it, it’s time to reverse this cultural digression before our worship service looks more like a slumber party than the ultimate wedding ceremony that it is. When I was a kid, my parents regularly took me to the symphony. Everyone dressed. . . Read more »

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Is Evangelism Worth It?

Is evangelism worth it?

Evangelism Disappointments If you’ve ever found yourself discouraged or beating yourself up over how poorly you handled a situation where you were trying to share your faith, I have sort of an inoculation for you. This is not a license to succumb to the fatalistic tendencies that often prevail among Calvinists. “Since God predestines everything, I’ll play video games all night and skip out on going to our church’s neighborhood outreach.” This is more for the times we do what God calls us to do and things don’t work out the way we pray they will. When this happens to. . . Read more »

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Love One Another & Be a Childlike Church

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Love One Another Like the Early Church A few years ago I chided a minister who said he spent forty hours each week preparing his Sunday sermons. I couldn’t imagine how he could justify such a solitary life. “It’s kind of like a father who thinks he’s being a good provider working endless overtime,” I told him. “What the family really needs is a lot less money and a lot more dad. The same is true of you and your church.” But, today, I find I’m a lot more like the man I gave a hard time, and less like. . . Read more »

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Worship is a Good Offense

Worship is a Good Offense—Defense of the Faith

Worship is for Believers The past two Lord’s Days, a few of our members shared with me how they wept through portions of our worship service. These emotions are not uncommon as believers bask in God’s glory with understanding of what is going on in His presence. The sense of holy awe before the throne moves our whole being. When we leave we are different people. In order to have a good defense of the faith, we need to have a good offense. That’s what worship is. Worship is the fountainhead from which all of life springs. But worship is. . . Read more »

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Honoring Your Parents When You’re All Grown Up

Honoring Your Parents When You're All Grown Up

Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Exodus 20:12 Family Battles One of the most familiar verses on spiritual warfare is Ephesians 6:12, where we learn that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood. And yet, while we read that verse and meditate upon its meaning, some of us are confronted with the reality that it seems we do indeed wrestle with flesh and blood, the flesh and blood that is related to us. Sometimes, the greatest spiritual battles seem to take place in. . . Read more »

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Your Family is a Target-Rich Environment for Kingdom Building

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This World is a Battlefield We who are the seed of the woman are to oppose the seed of the serpent. The orders for this battle were written very early on: “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed” (Gen 3:15a). And there is seemingly no end to the areas of life in which we see possible conflicts and battlefields on which to fight them. Even within the evangelical, Bible believing, starched shirt-wearing church of the happy, clean, and polite, there is work to be done. We have chronicled many of. . . Read more »

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Quantity Time with Our Children

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Responsibilities of Parents What we’re talking about today is time management and specifically time management in raising our children—bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We all know the commandment of God from the book of Deuteronomy: we are to teach our children the commandments, statutes, and judgments of the Lord when we talk with them in our homes, when we sit with them at our tables, when we walk by the way, and when they rise up. We also remember the heartfelt plea of the Apostle John who said in his third epistle, “I have. . . Read more »

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Give an Inheritance

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What Does the Bible Say About Inheritance? When the Bible talks about an inheritance it doesn’t always talk about it in financial terms. But almost always it does. It is a reoccurring theme throughout the Bible. We are to give one; we are to protect the one we’ve been given; we are to think in terms of multi-generational generosity. Because this is how God thinks. When God first makes covenant with Moses He describes himself in these terms: The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and. . . Read more »

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Heaven On Earth

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Changing Culture A reoccurring fantasy of mine is to be a witness as the Spirit moves in a great way in this country. Slowly at first, changing families, towns, perhaps regions. And then sweeping the country from coast to coast. Imagine the confusion, the frustration, the outrage as those who were comfortable, even happy, with the status quo woke up to a country where radical changes were happening. Where the Kingdom of God was seizing territory, seizing lives, seizing souls. And as Jesus was a revolutionary, so too should we be. Overthrowing institutions is the goal for those institutions that. . . Read more »

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A Fearful Future?

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Threats to Liberty, Morality & Peace It seems as if not a day goes by where some fundamental right we have as Americans isn’t under serious threat. Just the other day I saw where the Obama administration is trying to present their case for killing Americans on American soil they deem to be a threat. No discussion, no trial, just death. They could be our enemies after all. You’d think something like that might make quite a few headlines. But it’s crushed under the other headlines of other freedoms being attacked. We live in truly frightening times. And then there’s. . . Read more »

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I Am Who I Am

I Am Who I Am

Reflecting His Image I remember an occasion when I was trying to find my way around in a dark room where only faint shadows could be discerned. As I turned a corner, I realized I was not alone. I could barely make out an outline that looked like another person. With a heart-pounding adrenaline surge, I reached for the switch and turned on the lights. When the illumination revealed the secrets of the darkness, I found that the person I saw was me. I had seen a reflection of myself in the mirror on the wall. Image-reflecting is what mirrors. . . Read more »

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Against All Enemies—Voting Your Conscience

Against All Enemies

Lying Politicians Year after year our senators and congressmen in Washington solemnly swear before God and men to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” but only a handful of these men pay any attention to their constitutional limits. Our leaders regularly violate their oaths of office and we do nothing about it. We expect politicians to break their promises, and we even vote for them the next time around. We may grunt and grumble about having no other choice, but in the end we pull the lever for a known liar. . . Read more »

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Slave Culture

Slave Culture

Loving Slavery We are a nation of slaves and we love it. We have pursued our masters with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our strength, and with all our minds. And now we are fully content in our serfdom. We don’t feel the stripes on our back, the chafing of the chains, the loss of movement, the indignity. We don’t feel any of that. What we feel is jumpiness I guess, a nervous energy that never seems to go away, an addict’s itch. All we ask for in exchange for the chains is all the stuff. . . Read more »

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Does On Demand TV Leave Time for Good?

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Our enemy is tricky He’s been around a long time and he is patient. When you overcome him one way he always returns. He’s not quitting anytime soon, and just when you think you’ve beat him, don’t relax. He’s already found another way. Turning Off the TV More than a decade ago my wife and I decided we wanted a different life for our family than most, so one of the things we did was stop watching television. Turning off the cable and packing away the antenna, we thought, would save us some money, help us keep some of the. . . Read more »

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Wisdom of the Crowd

Wisdom of the Crowd

In a recent interview with NPR, former vice president and global warming wonk, Al Gore, was asked yet again about America’s response to “climate change.” He said a number of different and very familiar things, but one phrase in particular caught my ear; he spoke of the “wisdom of the crowd,” referring to the public’s supposed increase in concern over global warming because of Hurricane Sandy. Before you tune out, this is not about global warming. It is about the idiocy of the “wisdom of the crowd.” Let’s consider some of the brilliant decisions of “the crowd.” It was the. . . Read more »

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Teaching Children to Use Money Wisely

Piggy Banks—Teaching Children to Use Money Wisely

“Mommy, is this fourteen cents or forty cents?” Gabriel asks. Teaching our children the value of money is an important responsibility that goes beyond teaching proper addition and subtraction skills. Joyful Giving The earliest and most important lesson we teach about money is the lesson of giving. Second Corinthians 9:7b informs us that “God loveth a cheerful giver.” This verse always reminds of the children’s Bible memory song by Steve Greene in which he laughs joyfully after each refrain. (“Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”) This is the attitude we are looking for in our children (and ourselves). We practice joyful. . . Read more »

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Salty & Lighty

Salty & Lighty

Giving a Defense The role of the Christian, as far as I can tell from Scripture, is to simply act like one. Scripture is telling us how this comes about, what it is and what it means. That’s about ninety-nine percent of the job. The other one percent is “always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you” (I Peter 3:15). We evangelicals usually get it the other way around and mess up the wording of the latter, translating it thusly: “always be ready to be on the. . . Read more »

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Hate Speech

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Friendly Debate As I sat working in my office, a knock was heard; it was the orthodox Jew I had recently met. I had gotten to know him well enough that we could venture into some difficult conversations. Clutched in his hand was a Hebrew Old Testament. He was energized from our last conversation, and I could tell that he was ready for battle. I reached for my sword, the Hebrew version to match his weapon of choice, and after mutual salutations, I let him take the first blow. Fortunately, God had prepared me for this battle. I thought I. . . Read more »

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Wasted Time?

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  Life is seasons. We all live in the God-ordered context of seasons; cold to warm, hot to cool, fierce heat to fading light, falling snow to frolicking lambs and back again. We accept this. We even enjoy it. The transitions are assuring and sometimes exciting as the mid-season days grow long and tiresome. But are we as accepting of seasons in our own lives? Seasons of Plenty We do have plenty of examples from Scripture of how God orders the lives of His saints to encompass the mundane as well as the terrifying, the years of fat cows being. . . Read more »

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The Fearing Father

The Fearing Father

I have been a father now for twenty nine years. God has blessed my wife and me with ten children. And I am thankful that by God’s grace each one of my children has professed faith in Jesus Christ. And those who are now married are now raising their children to love the Lord, to be recipients of His grace, to cry out for His mercy. And I am humbled when I remember how God has used me as an instrument in bringing the reality of faith in their lives. Fatherhood is Not for Wimps You see, fatherhood is not. . . Read more »

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A Father’s Plan

A Father's Plan

Teaching Our Children As a father, I have plans for my children. I want them to be strong of will and full of experience. I want them to be godly. So far they have canoed, hiked, raised goats, fished, kayaked, skied, butchered chickens, rafted whitewater, ridden horses, farmed, traveled by plane, train, boat and subway, body surfed, shot trap, and milked cows. During their entire life there has been a constant flow of people through our home and at times, living with us: students, missionaries, troubled teens, homeless people, seekers, travelers, friends, and acquaintances. All of this was on purpose. . . Read more »

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Don’t Let Them In

Don't Let Them In—The Power of Advertising

Power of Advertising I never understand why a large corporation like Nike would pay Tiger Woods $40 million to basically wear a hat with their logo on it. I tried, but for a while I just couldn’t figure it out. The math just wouldn’t add up. My thinking went something like this. Two million people see Woods wearing his Nike hat during the Memorial Tournament. Of that two million, so many would buy a hat. I even tried to figure how much profit they could make from each hat. On and on I went down the line trying to understand. . . Read more »

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I Still Do

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Marriage Vows Vows should always bring a sense of reservation. They bring a sense of sober contemplation. Taking a vow should cause us to pause and consider who we really are and who we will be. And there are few vows that are more important than the marriage vow. But one of the beauties about the marriage vow is that it involves two parties who make a similar promise, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish for a lifetime. These vows may seem constraining to some because they do indeed call us. . . Read more »

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Loving God’s Law & Legislating Morality

Loving God's Law & Legislating Morality

by Rev. Marion Lovett Legislating Morality The law is good. Application of the law is good. In fact, we have to apply the law in order to keep it. In addition, I believe our government ought to legislate morality. For either it will legislate morality or immorality. After all, we do support outlawing abortion. Don’t we? Sabbath breaking, like murder and abortion, was an offense that required capital punishment in order for justice to be met. So legislating Sabbath morality is good. God blessed Nehemiah when he did this (cf. Neh 13:15-22). The problem, however, comes when we go beyond. . . Read more »

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Six Days You Shall Labor

Six Days You Shall Work

One thing I strive to instill within my children is an understanding of the necessity of work. For anyone alive, we are commanded by God to be productive, to be industrious, to be those who are not idle, but those who are engaged in some sort of enterprise. The Lord God Almighty has not only decreed this to be a characteristic of all mankind, He even modeled it Himself. The creation account is one that details work, that details labor, that details creativity of the highest nature. The Lord God created the heavens and the earth and all that is. . . Read more »

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In Defense of Mourning and Dancing

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As many of you know, Kim, my bride of almost twenty-four years, passed into glory this April after a relatively brief, but intense, struggle with cancer. Besides myself, she left behind six children, all of whom still are at home. In the months that have passed since then, we have started along the road of mourning and grief that R.C. and his children started just ahead of us. Even though we are still relatively new on this path, I have learned a few lessons. First, it is healthy and necessary to mourn. Denial of grief or pain achieves nothing good.. . . Read more »

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The View from 99

About a week ago, my darling husband was lamenting the impact pregnancy has on fathers. He summed it up with “Fifteen months. That’s positively scandalous!” I stared in disbelief. Surely he jests… First, the school marm in me wanted to hand him a pencil and paper. “Using two unit multipliers, convert eleven pregnancies to days.” But no. He wants to talk in months; fine, we’ll talk in months. “99.” Eleven pregnancies converts to ninety-nine months of my life being pregnant. That’s eight years and three months. Your point?  His shocked silence told me I had hit home. “Well, when you put it that way…”. . . Read more »

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A Time to Plant

A Time to Plant

Discouragements of Motherhood One of the most difficult questions for a young mother to answer is “Am I doing a good job?” The farmer must sow in faith that his seeds will bring forth the harvest he seeks, yet it is difficult to foresee the kind of fruit the beliefs and actions of today will result in years to come. For some young mothers this truth is paralyzing. “What if I do or don’t do something that messes up my child for life?” Rest assured. Your child will be a messed up sinner for the rest of his earthly life.. . . Read more »

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Reich.edu

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Religious Pluralism & Homeschooling Homeschooling is illegal in Germany and families that refuse to enroll their kids in state schools are fined, arrested, and threatened with losing custody of their children. Recently, German police invaded the home of the Wunderlich family and forcibly removed their children. There were no allegations of abuse or neglect or failure to provide an adequate education. Their crime, according to the Darmstadt family court, was the parents’ failure to cooperate “with the authorities to send the children to school.” The judge also authorized use of force “against the children” because the children had “adopted the. . . Read more »

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Ducklings and Eaglets

One of the most delightful aspects of parenting is observing the distinct differences between children. Ten times the Lord has allowed Steve and me to meet a new person created from the same raw materials, a child of the same man and woman. Each one is unique. There are some similarities, for sure. I often call Jonathan “Matthew” because he looks so much like his brother at this age. At church, one look determines at a glance that “that is a Murphy,”except for maybe Gabriel. Even within this tight genetic pool, that fellow looks completely different from his brothers and. . . Read more »

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Together in Suffering

It is perhaps the deepest challenge and, in turn, the greatest lesson for a man when those whom he loves suffer. Everyone is tempted to wonder about God’s will and the why of suffering. Everyone tastes the bitterness of that first fruit, pleasing as it was to the eyes and desirable to make one wise. Everyone feels the sting of suffering, the shared pain of shared lives. But a man, a husband, a father—he feels something else: impotence. There comes, when the doctor gingerly delivers the bad news, a horrible, gnawing, piercing pain because you are the fixer, and you. . . Read more »

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